this and that

2011-04-15T12:05:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

The digital radio does not like being turned off to save energy. The buggers packed up. Man about the house cannot resuscitate it.

Classic FM proves the best reception. It is just what I need. And I never knew it.

He does not like non specific back pain and nor do I. However I do like his designer shirt and tie it cheers me up no end.

Bit of that

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Henry A. Kissinger

2011-04-06T11:57:00.001-07:00

Bit of this

She is sat in the sun with a few bits of greenery petals and stones creating miniature works of art. This is indeed a miracle in the middle of a tarmac desert. Bits the man with the weed killer missed.

Several girls take their shoes and socks off as they sat and chatted only to be told off. I zipped my lip with difficulty.

I remember you miss you taught me in nursery says a yr sixer. They want to visit so off we go to mine old memories. He loved dressing up she painting. Do they not paint now then in Ys 6.

Feels like we steal their childhood before its lived.

Bit of that

The thieving magpie a tribute to conformity !!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeQiei1jsJc&feature=related

2011-04-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

She is five and we spend the afternoon with her sister planting seeds and treading needles.

Luckily there are 2 needles and 2 canvas squares and 1 obliging birthday girl who shares her booty.

I take home a warm fuzzy (as we say at school) and a huge box of veggies that the older brother carries to the car.

Bit of that

Crossed wires: Mother packing small sons lunch box.

"Mum I don't want cake".

"Why not" asks indignant friend.

"My zip won't do up." She jumps to conclusions. My lord eating issues at 7. Who has been teasing him in the play ground then.

"No mum, my zip won't do up there is too much food in my lunch box".

2011-03-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

The minutes I make up by the jogging I do with whippet are reclaimed by wonder as I watch 6 young race horses, doing what they are bred for, having fun and cavorting around their nursery field.

Did you get them he yells through the school fence. "Your the best teacher ever" he beams.

He is still beaming when I catch up with him as he ices his biscuits.

It was worth risking the wroth of man about the house for being late and queuing for 20 minutes in M&S.

Bit of that

We will harbor you memory

We will bind our loss

In the warm currents of you laughter

We will search the sky

For your wild blazing star

And your voice will endure singing out to us

Between the spaces in the wind

Always free Always fee

Andrew

2011-03-08T12:49:00.001-08:00

Bit of this

Now does whippet close his eyes in drop off readiness or do his eyes droop when he can't stay awake any longer?

I myself close my eyes in hopeful anticipation.

I can't remember when last I had a good nights kip. I get up and mooch or read, eat biscuits, listen to music, clean, go outside and look at the stars, walk the dog. In the past those wakeful hours were a gift of time. But last night was a bugger with the back and lately the hours of the night hang heavily. I couldn't believe my luck when today brought a gift of the blond and the grandson blowing in. We ate lunch in the park and had fun at the museum. And to think at 4 o'clock this morning I couldn't think how I would engage with the day. I am so glad I managed to get going and went to work.

Bit of that

Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them.

2011-03-03T12:52:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Oh my gawd man about the house has implemented a weekly brass cleaning regime. The brass is glowing with shock as am I.

Some of the lads are bouncing. I round them up for a run around. "You mean I only have to go outside for 2 minutes then I can come back in". Half an hour latter he heads for the warm with glowing cheeks and a huge grin.

I am considering making a large poster with "bless this mess". And sticking it up at work.

Bit of that

Other people getting creative with posters.

2011-01-23T04:09:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

He has a red coat and a proud expression, his charges are a credit to him. They have beautiful manners. Achieved he tells me by tying a young hound to an older dog.

He goes on to tell me of some of their personality traits. We don't want them too tamed he tells me they need to be able to think for them selves.

My mind flits to school and all the depressing spoon feeding for correct answers wot goes on. It seems that the powers that be do not value the art thinking for yourself. As they squeeze the children into more and more boxes, with more and more content in without leaving room for them to be. The fact that I came across class drama queen holding a chair aiding the escape artist while he synchronized his door handle with him the picking the child proof lock lower down. Shows how free thinking and creative we try to be in our unit, just think of all the boxes I could tick for that one, without actually illustrating the points. Marvelous team work and excellent problem solving being just 2. (We now have an extra gate). And while I was gratified to note my banging on about health and safety had sunk in with regards care taken that no one wobbled off the chair and broke their necks, I had forgotten to alert them to the dangers of the outside world should they ever want to explore beyond our walls. I say a prayer for these three that they work the system to their advantage and fly as high as I know that they can, when they do leave our walls. Not much hope of that!

Bit of that

Joyce Grenfell

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

2011-01-17T10:21:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Man about the house more is getting sluggish and I need diversion from the grueling, a bike ride is in order. As we puff around the sun peeks out and the mileometer registers 222 miles. It has taken me from September to get this far but I have done it!

What a difference a throb makes. The last stretch is peddled as fast as the legs can turn. As I rush home for a fix of this.However I am not optimistic. It has been over used, and cannot be turned up any higher.

Hey presto within minutes I can breath and feel human again. The head clears the body straightens only to be bent over an hour latter a tiding the garden. I have a glorious couple of hours and fill the bin with surplus flower pots. I have the energy to make a mental note to track down a way to recycle them. It has been weeks and weeks since I had any sort of spring in my step.

Bit of that

One way to use flower pots.

2010-12-27T01:41:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

I have had an infusion of the boy the baby and the blond. It has put fizz in my blood and a spring in my step.

The delight of batting the ball with another female over lunch rather than 2 monosyllabic males allows me to take gasps of pure oxygen and clears my head, the cherry on the cake is the colorful boot slip dabs finished off with fake fur. (whippet has yet to discover these and claim them as fair game).

I smile as I hear the blackbird clucking as he realizes man about the house is on the move. Between us we are training him to the call of hunger. He feeds he birds before himself.

Bit of this

We hold him with more reverence here about.

2010-11-29T12:51:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Mrs T has resurrected her Bridget Riley winter coat.

Long and lean and wearing a long winter coat and a long expression as he peers into the undergrowth. "there has been a strawberry blond kitten hanging around I have just brought it a plate of cat food". It seems I am not the only one feeding the felines then.

I open the door to see her sat on the birthday-chair amid the chaos of our cupboard. Furiously writing her child observations up. The lengths some people will go to for a bit of P and Q.

Bit of that

Optical illusion

Optical Illusions

If you stare at the following picture long enough,
you should see a giraffe...

Gotcha! But the rest of these optical illusions are on the level.

What are "illusions"? Illusions trick us into perceiving something differently than it actually exists, so what we see does not correspond to physical reality. Hence, the word illusion comes from the Latin verb illudere meaning, "to mock." In addition, some illusions show us one thing in a picture, while someone else sees something entirely different in the same picture.

Research scientists must be sure that the results of their work are not "illusory" in nature. They need to accurately report what "is", rather than their general "impression" of "what is". So many times a scientist will repeat an experiment many times, or in different laboratories, to ensure that their results were valid. Science is only "good science" when anyone can repeat the experiment and get the same results.

If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot,
the dots will remain only one color, pink.

However if you stare at the black " +" in the center, the moving dots turns to green.

Now, concentrate on the black " + " in the center of the picture. After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see only a single green dot rotating.

It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see.

2010-11-22T11:36:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

I have put things in boxes, class lists to be precise.

Now this is an achievement, for one so computer illiterate.

Rex's waifs and strays are becoming very brave or very hungry they are woofing tea before I have nipped back inside. Common sense tells me to stop. Basic mathematics cautions. Mummy puss has 4 kittens, how many by next summer? I wonder. I do hope man about the house manages to keep his job for their sake!

Bit of that

Well what else is it used for then.

plus a waif

2010-11-20T12:27:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Not a silver lining but a white one. Not one to mope man about the house has picked up a paint brush until fate decides what comes next. (I didn't like to point out the house resembles NHS waiting room). Job lots cannot be turned down.

Thank the lord he learnt to read. He has powered is way though several library books.

And we have rediscovered the Simpsons. Who wants to immerse themselves in teatime gloom news, when Hommers take on life is so much more entertaining.

Bit of this

When I read the first line I just had to buy Read me out loud. Worth every penny.

"Are you sure there are no people"

sobbed the poltergeist in fright,

from The Lightmare

Thank goodness I too paid enough attention at school to learn to read.

2010-11-08T11:36:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

"What's your greatest achievement then",

I mumble from underneath the bedclothes as he is waving goodbye.

Never a navel gazing sort of geezer, I come up with my own answer when he arrives home just before ten.

"I have just been suspended". That's a pretty big sort of achievement don't you think !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bit of that

To do is to be - Rousseau.

To be is to do - Sartre.

Dobedobedo - Sinatra.

Sinatra hits the spot.

HEY HO

It must have some sort of silver lining.

2010-10-13T12:19:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Straight off the school bus nose straight into his library book. He nearly walks straight into me.

She is 95, her grand mother made her mother a lace veil for her wedding, embroidering name and date. The veil has been used ever since for marriages and christenings even if the younger members would rather a more trendy arrangement. After use it goes to The Royal College Of Needle work to be cleaned and carefully packed ready for the next outing.

"They are beautiful" he says dropping 6 fushia heads into my hand. "They smell beautiful". We examine their color and fragility and lay them in a line. He beams from a tear stained face for the first time that day. I breath a sigh of relief that he showed his treasures to me not Mrs A, who takes a dim view of such exploration and sees it as vandalism.

Bit of that

Of all the things you wear your expression is the most important.

2010-10-05T12:53:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Trickle. Not a word I come across much. It has a musical ring in the saying of it.

Being spaced out worked to my advantage. The inability to set cooker timer correctly gave me an unexpected hour of gardening.

Whippet put himself to bed with a guilty look, as I walked in. He had been in the bin. Mind you the fact black cat was munching a dead bird added to his unease. Wise decision to scar-per.

Bit of that

Not quite as good as a book but the next best thing.

Sometimes I have a go at my own bit of expressionism via the camera.

2010-10-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

What a well brought up car driver. He stopped in the middle of a busy round about at rush hour to make way for a police car. Our chap in blue is so shocked he does not budge. The everso courteous beckons encouragingly. Policeman's mate who is right behind is so gob smacked that he fails to take immediate advantage all the car driver can offer is to doff his cap as he continues around the round about. This has me tittering in astonishment for the rest of the journey.

"Do you wear a nappy?" he asks "I do".

We can't believe our luck. The smoke alarm remains silent in spite of a smoke filled kitchen. Whoops five minutes latter everyone is nicely lined up on the playground and I am legging it up to explain and apologize. The lady in the office fails to forgive as we have caught her out. She has no nicely laminated registers for us to tick. This provides much mirth in our unit as almost daily she rings berating the inefficient delivery through cyber space of our register. That never happened in the good old days, pen and paper was much simpler and in the event of fire alarms jumping to attention we had a copy of our own.

Bit of that

Cartoon stars and Z cars

2010-09-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Bless her heart. Displaying devotion to duty she comes in clutching a list of Hungarian words. The little lad eyes her warily, but mum says "very good". As long as we get the word toilet sorted all will be well.

The NQT is chuffed and so she should be. One of our 4 year olds requested a camera and some envelops and went into the garden. Then asked his mum to print out the 4 pictures he had taken. He placed 1 photo in each envelope and strategically placed them. Hey presto one treasure hunt for his mother each envelop held a clue to the next clue and then to treasure. He had recreated the fun and games on the last day of term.

He is trundling his luggage and clutching a large mug of tea to the car. We exchange a bleary eyed good morning.

Bit of that

Max

2010-08-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Warm air blowing in through the windows makes the curtains dance, ruffles my hair and makes me wonder why I don't fling the window wide more often.

Whippet and black cat have been de fleaed , but they seemed to have jumped ship and landed on me. I find the large tin with a yellow lid and take action.

She rings me up and tries to prod me into entering the village produce show. Oh dear I have missed the entry date. I feel absolved.

Bit of that

A Committee is a group of people who individually

can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

2010-08-18T02:31:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Yesterday I decided an outing might fan any spark of lingering enthusiasm for life. I didn't give myself time to sink in a tired and despondent heap after walking whippet. I grueled my way around Leamington feeling detached. I kept seeing opportunities but couldn't find the energy to step over the sodding shoulder and engage.

Today for half an hour the pain was managable and I to my utter suppriise I felt 10 years younger. I found a bit of me that I had thought had disappeared for ever. This filled me with hope and carried me through the day.

She has a musical voice and tells us her mother was a professional singer. She is using her own creative talents to run courses in the wonderfully light and airy studio where the sheep peer in and the view magical. The mate and I think self hypnosis might be fun. And I also fancy learning to use the peg loom that was lurking in a corner.

Bit of that

The monkey business illusion a test of perception.

2010-08-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

The Ipod has just died, as luck would have it one of my Library books is Ipods for Dummies. The trouble shooting instructions may as well be in Chinese but man about the house translates them perfectly and is rewarded with a tiny apple.

Don't cry now, says the mother to the blond dot in pink. She trails after her 2 brothers sniffing and rubbing her eyes pathetically. Sensing they are all immune to emotional blackmail she shakes her blond head and stamps her foot furiously.

Sometimes I feel alarmingly close to the ground. The first time I experienced this was my college days tripping around Birmingham. At the time I put it down to being enclosed by tall buildings and feeling like a tiny ant. The move to a city was a culture shock to say the least. Every so often the sensation returns, to day I wonder if I have shrunk with age.

Bit of that

2010-08-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

"It was thrilling to receive your card" she says. I have never ever thrilled anyone before.

My mother is thrilled with the roses my sister has taken around for her. "They smell divine".

I am thrilled to see an old orange brolly and an old friend. Bring Whippet to play and come for coffee. She is 94 used to make hats and now wants to learn to sculpt. What an inspiration.

Bit of that

She tells me about a creation she once made her daughter to wear at Ascot, on spotting the very same hat in the crowd and making a bee line for her daughter only to find out her daughter had flogged it.

No body wears them better

Her Royal Highness

Ascot 2010

2010-08-13T12:55:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Duke the great dane from the pub rushes over and leaps on whippets best friend, an ever-so noble workman leaps from his van and hauls him off.

The was not a drop of blood anywhere.

I remember I have a box of Hero chocks and leave them on his van, specially for the hero of the hour.

Bit of that

2010-08-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

I feel slightly alarmed to be left in charge of this small grandson of ours.

He is the perfect child, all smiles, and baby talk. We walk across the park to visit a friend.

She opens the door, I am amazed by her transformation, her WD40 injections have given her a respite from disabling rheumatoid arthritis. So much so she has is starting a new job at the young homeless project. We drink tea in the garden to celebrate.

Bit of that

Keep scrolling down the page. There is a beautiful animation about feeling better. This blog is so creative.

2010-08-09T12:15:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Varying activity thats the thing. Dog walking, chatting, bits of house work, taking to the sofa with a video about the I O W Women's Institute. Very entraining.

Then the meter man appears half way through said video. I fail to accomplish the required position to read the meter so he is invited in to do the job.

I have to justify my sluttish behavior in the middle of the day and find that he has been sent from heaven, he gives me the number of someone who works magic using cranial massage.

Bit of this

One foot after the other, but perhaps not as fancy as this.

2010-08-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

From the dark recess of the cubord a dusty bike carrier appears.

Bikes and carrier are slung on the back of the car.

There are acorns and oak trees, joggers, walkers, bikers, onesis, twosis and groups all enjoying the outdoors. But it is the unexpected call of the lapwing which provides the perfect moment for me. That and the fact I manage to peddle all the way around the reservoir with only the aid of a cool ice lolly.

Bit of that

Until 20 years ago the lapwing was one of the most widespread as well as one of the most colourful of British birds, with its iridescent green back, black and white underparts and long wispy crest. It is a spectacular flyer, tumbling up and down in great vertical swoops to drive off predators such as crows or gulls, or merely in display.

But the past two decades have seen a catastrophic crash in numbers: according to the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds its British population declined by 52 per cent between 1970 and 1998.

In Wales the decline was 73 per cent between 1987 and 1998, and Devon, where once thousands of lapwings bred, "a pair on every farm", now has only 100 pairs across the whole county.

As well as mountains and marshes, farmland is a major habitat, and, as with the skylark, changes in farming practice are believed to be a main cause of their decline. They have been hit in particular by the dwindling of mixed farming - arable and livestock combined.

Lapwings flourish where both are found together, as the birds like to nest on bare fields of young crops, where they can see predators coming, then take their chicks almost as soon as they are born into pastures, where insect food is more plentiful. But British agriculture is increasingly polarising, with crops grown in the east and livestock raised in the West. This and other changes, such as intensified field drainage, mean that in many places lapwings have disappeared altogether.

2010-08-05T12:55:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

The wind and rain have decapitated the heads off the bakers petunia, and they litter the drive like discarded fairy hats.

One of the house martins becomes trapped in the way out, but is gently shooed on it's way.

It catches the corner of my eye and triggers memories. of 2 small children's heads bent together closely peering at the shells and crabs trapped within the lump of resin. Andrews grave becomes it's "good home". If It disappears I say someone will have fallen in love with it too. Or B will object she quips of guardian of church and church yard.

Bit of that

Did you know what made the delicious sound in the sugar plum fairy?. I am ashamed to say I had no idea and worse never even questioned it.

2010-08-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

The starling sounds slightly disappointed and miffed as it scolds me from it's breakfast bar that is the bedroom window sill. I hop out of bed and shake nut mix, only to be entertained by a gang of teens squabbling for best peckings. Gawd I hope the noise hasn't woken the neighbors.

She breezes in trailing my grumpy son, and presents me with her smiley one. He has great fun testing his muscles bouncing on a contraption that hangs from the door frame and he spreads good cheer all around.

Man about the house is encouraged on a bike ride. This is quite a novelty these days as the motor bike has taken president over absolutely everything. We manage the hills too.

Bit of that

The first bike I ever had was a much loved second hand red 3 wheeler. I spent hours peddling up and down the path in-front of the church. I later went on to learn to ride a two wheeler job on this bit of path and then ran up and down behind lots of children in latter years helping them perfect their balancing skills. Good friend J arrived at my door a life time latter with her daughters bike, "Here you borrow it for the summer." And that small act of kindness was the relationship with my own adult bike that has beens great therapy for gloomy days and was responsible, in a roundabout way, for the whippet joining the house hold. Who would have thought the act of learning to ride a bike could have rippled so far and wide over time.

2010-07-31T08:44:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Whippet is soooo hungry he gulps his 3 tablets down in one go. Just black cat to go.

Catch up with farmer Rex. "No he failed the audition, he just wasn't fierce enough". could have fooled me. The gander eyes me up, I hide behind man about house.

Desert Island Discs keeps me entertained via trusty ipod while I give the strawberries a hair cut, as instructed by Mr Titmarch's book.

Bit of that

Snippet from the desert island.

2010-07-30T12:20:00.001-07:00

Bit of this

Am re energized by ancient greeks re link from 3BT and her 25th july post.

I need L plates. The pram is uncontrollable, not unlike a disobedient Tesco trolly, there are pot holes in the pavement and the pram has no safety straps. We get there and back with out bouncing the boy up and over the side. Being left in charge has made me weak at the knees, a snifter is in order to celebrate the first of so much more to come.

We go up and pay homage to the pumpkin. There she sits in a patch of bare soil surrounded by the promise of more gardening space if the sodding shoulder can be persuaded by intent to co operate.

Bit of that

Due to sodding shoulder bits of that will be sporadic unlike sodding shoulder.

Won't have to worry about that then as my retirement age recedes into distance.

2010-04-08T00:24:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Heard but not seen, his new born experimentation with voice mixed with the clatter of delivery room noise to enter my being settle with a sigh of gratitude.

I didn't know until he was in my arms that the ferocity of the universes darkness and light weighed seven pounds fifteen ounces.

He open his eyes, gazed up, and frowned before his lids fluttered closed again. All he is and will be shone out a myriad of stories yet untold.

Bit of that

Life is exciting, splendid, ruthless, uncertain, exquisitely beautiful sometimes to be endured, sometimes to be savored and sipped before spitting back the un palatable, above all if possible to be danced though with light creatively empathetic steps.

The world is beautiful

you must know where to look

I look where it is

beautiful

(Alice Sommer - nazi survivor)

We must teach him where to look

2010-03-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Meditation for the day: Dorothy's red shoes watching the world go by past the shop window, while waiting for their adventure to begin.

I gaze for ages framing and reframing. Sodding shoulder had become so overwhelming, focusing down to the minutia takes my body away, until I turn to find a teenager gazing at the batty old woman with a camera. I wink he continues to stare.

Corse the snap is binned, tis the process not the end product. Whoops could be a life statement.

Bit of that

Appro of bugger all

This is Eric he resides 2 doors down, invites himself inside, and has a howl suitable as a sound effects for person suffering from sodding shoulder syndrome.

2010-03-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

The first white violets catch the sun shine.

The youngsters in Costa's are a tad stressed. The reason is the new creation requires a special flick to attain the perfect presentation. Many are despondent and one walked off midflick.

This is his second attempt to upgrade the meter. His face falls, I offer him a mars and a coffee as a consolation prize. He drives away and I remain in a state of un-upgradedness.

Bit of that

I like a dog a day

2010-03-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

Bit of thist

Wiithin the warmth of the day there is an explosion of tiny black gnats.

The warmth is also the perfect climatic conditions for a love fest in the school pond. I have never seen so many frogs all together.

"You are off the footpath, it is a bit confusing", nope I know exactly where I am and I am enjoying your wild life. Oh he falters seen any. My smile is oblivousy isrristsable he gets back in his landrover and drives away.

Bit of that

Do gnats dance?

2010-03-16T12:17:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

She is showing off her skills on the climbing frame, suddenly telling me to "stay there a minute", nibble legs run over to the wild bit where she searches arriving back with a huge leaf. "Here for you".

Those who are to be obeyed (because they know best and can save us from "special measures") are standing in for an hour, to cover for the young teacher. I watch in utter amazement as the gang and I come in to help tidy up. The bottom of the dressing up box is not full of clothes, they are on the floor, but several children. "Is it a bus or a train" her that has come along to support those who are to be obeyed encourages. While I am trying to encourage them out. "Not at tidy up time" I snap "it's a dressing up box". Those who are to be obeyed are watching the rest of them bounce on the mattress in the corner. Telling them to tidy it up. Now the children have lots of skills but they have not yet mastered the art of bed making from scratch, without a helping hand. So they are doing what they do best, bouncing.

At going home time I spot 4 of the children who were left in their charge still sat waiting for a pick up. While they examine the g pigs. Latter I put my arms around the young teacher who is always having a crisis of confidence. "You are marvelous" I say, "even I am marvelous today". And don't let them buggers tell you other wise.

Bit of that

G pig enjoying a bit of language and literacy.

2010-03-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Friday

Power to the cause one of the mums offers to do a poster encouraging tidy litter habits, to go with my collage of dropped litter that I am hell bent on sicking up. Even better she proves to be a governor. Perhaps she will motivate the whole school. An army of one has suddenly become 2. (I refused to be daunted when one little girl sensing I am on a mission diplomatically tells me the litter looks "all sparkly" and she likes it). Someone has the last laugh though, because on my way out, there floating in the wind is a newly deposited sparkly crisp packet. Arggggg.

Saturday

Pain is unconcerned with either place or position, so no point in taking to the sofa then. The back ends up at a delightful exhibition of automaton.

Sunday

She is a blessing and is feeding all four grandparents in waiting a tasty lunch. I simply cannot believe my luck. The son maybe aloof but she is fizzing and friendly.

Bit of that

Saturdays trip sets me on a trail.

2010-03-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

My mother has sent 2 cards and 2 cheques. (Quite by mistake). She adds to one card "may the sun shine on you today". I feel suddenly blessed.

The gift token buys an indulgence of a book, that will probably never be used but the joy of looking at it and encourages the dreaming of possibilities.

One tiny candle graces the pudding and someone has dribbled Happy Birthday in chocolate around the edge of the plate. It was so unexpected I am deeply touched.

Bit of that

The Ipod fires sagging tiredness into determined movement and springy steps.

Tunes of glory

With each repeat of the tune comes a tiny fizz more of energy.

2010-03-09T11:54:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

The drama queen and I are faffing about with modern technology. He strolls up, takes the ever stuck hands from his pockets, leans over and hits the power button. Hey presto we have music.

Everyone has the wrong day and I get spoilt rotten. The french fancies are much needed pick me up after a fraught morning. He threw sand, water, and a pile of just tidied dinosaurs everywhere. I have the upper hand though, and tell him the drama queens mum is taking him home, and he better not keep her waiting. Meanwhile while encouraging him to rectify the mess he has been making with his hurling (read trajectory) schemas, the girls have emptied all things that draw over the mattress in the corner and the boys have rounded up dinosaurs and bricks to add to the mayhem. They are all obviously exploring thier transporting style. And then to top the lot I find someone has flooded the loos. (I really should have opted to go outside thinks I).

We get the poor g pig out and lots join us as we discover how fragile and dependent they are on us. And in particular why it is not a good idea to throw sand their way. This has restored my faith in them as they are all kind and caring to a man. And several express shocked disapproval at certain behaviors. (Good job I didn't loose my rag or they would be reflecting that back). Good morning work then what ever a fly on the wall might have made of it.

Bit of that

Schemas are patterns of repeatable behaviour which can often be noticed in young children's play. Some easily identifiable schemas are:

Schema	Description of possible behaviours
Transporting	A child may carry all the bricks from one place to another in a bag, the sand from the tray to the home corner in a bucket, push a friend around in a toy pram.
Enveloping	A child may cover themselves in a flannel when washing, wrap dolls and toys up in blankets and fabric, cover their painting with one colour.
Enclosure/containing	A child may put their thumb in and out of their mouth, fill up and empty containers of all kinds, climb into large cartons, sit in the tunnel, build 'cages' with blocks.
Trajectory;Diagonal/vertical/horizontal	A child may gaze at your face, drop things from their cot, make arcs in their spilt food with their hand, play with the running water in the bathroom, climb up and jump off furniture, line up the cars, bounce and kick balls, throw.
Rotation	A child may be fascinated by the spinning washing machine, love anything with wheels, roll down a hill, enjoy spinning round or being swung around.
Connection	A child may distribute and collect objects to and from a practitioner, spend time joining the train tracks together, stick the masking tape form across form the table to the chair.
Positioning	A child may put things on their head, prefer their custard next to their sponge not over it, lie on the floor or under the table.
Transforming	A child may add juice to their mashed potato, sand to the water tray, enjoy adding colour to cornflour or making dough.

2010-03-08T07:58:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Sheep come running from all corners of the field to stand peering over the fence bleating. It is difficult to know why they are excited. Is it the man in the white van asking directions or have they fallen in love with whippet?

Practicing my baby bantering skills on V's granddaughter. Silly voices still seem to gain sweet smiles then.

Tracing a Buzzard through the binoculars as it circles higher and higher in a bright blue sky. To join another. There is something hypnotic in their seemingly effortless soaring.

Bit of that

Whippet is a realist he feels it was not his good looks but the prospect of grub that set the sheep a running.

2010-03-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Lord of the manor has a cunning plan to stop the hoy poloy from using the back road as a short cut. Densely packed spiky shrubs have been planted close to the edge of the road, to inflict nasty scratches on to passing cars.

In fact them that do the work hadn't done it properly and woz spotted muttering and digging 200 hundred of the buggers up and re siting them a foot nearer the road.

Whippet too is muttering because I have gone off in one, gazing at the tiger stripes cast by the shrubs shadows receding into the distance. A dark blob disrupts my vibes, and when I look up to see what bit of caught litter is responsible, there is my lost glove that someone has thoughtfully stuck on a twig. What luck, the last time I trod this path was 2 weeks past.

Bit of that

2010-03-05T12:20:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

A rare soul this one he doesn't hold grudges for only minutes earlier we had had words. He grabs my hand "come and look at flowers growing, come on". We run up the field to his discovery of sleek hooded daffs that have just avoided being trampled on by the crew.

Swinging around in response to the sound of her voice into a bear hug and unexpected lunch.

It doesn't work but the smell of musk oil fills the kitchen and cheers me. Failure sends me hunting for the instructions thus becoming sidetracked in acres of black and white photo's.

Bit of that

Friendship

I've discovered a way to stay friends forever

There really is nothing to it.

I simply tell you what to do

And you do it!

Shel Siverstein

2010-03-02T11:39:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Todays modern woman knows how to use her time wisely. While waiting for the on coming traffic to pass she dips her spoon into the bowl of cereal that is on the seat beside her and pops a mouth full in her chops.

Now I have seen women applying makeup, using the indispensable mobile, brushing hair, being helped by a small dog sat on their knee, but never eating cornflakes.

The most alarming thing I ever saw was a lorry driver reversing his ever-so big lorry, using one hand in a narrow street in Lincoln while chatting on his mobile. The place was heaving. To be fair we all lived to shop till we dropped. Obviously a master of reverse gear then.

Bit of that

Not all men are up to multitasking though

2010-03-01T11:10:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Upper thigh muscles are supposed to be pushing peddles, but the bike had been abandoned and bird watching has taken it's place.

Some seagulls are taking a bath others are paddling looking for food in the flood. Occasionally they stir hardly lifting from ground gliding to a more appealing spot. I have the urge, to rush home, grab a deck chair and join them on the other side of the fence.

The garden centre provides, instant sunshine, one blowzy bright yellow primula.

Bit of that

Very amusing I thinks

2010-02-26T11:45:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Good neighbor J is sat in a heap on the floor when I arrive. The man next door comes to our assistance. No damage done except ruffled hair, skirt and dignity.

5 tiny seeds are planted in a pot.

Stick to the ribs treacle pudding slips down a treat.

Bit of that

snuggle up and keep warm.

2010-02-25T12:39:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

She sees the funny side as a Teaching Assistant puts her right on 2nd and 3rd wave intervention. Twernt me, I had no idea either.

The storeroom is a vision of neat and tidy. And will surely now pass any health and safety swoop.

My luck still holds as I drink their coffee and eat a Marks and Spencer goodie.

Bit of that

One Minute Brain Game

2010-02-24T11:05:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Occasionally you are privy to intimate information.

2 girls are sat in the little house outside chatting while observing a wasp, that has been given a sugar kick in the form of treacle, in an effort to resuscitate it. "The kitten dropped worms from his bottom on the bed, now mummy has worms in her bottom".

The wasp flies off while A and I are hunting for a magnifying glass.

The car is blocked in requiring a cancellation with the Alexander Technique lady. Never mind it has saved me an arm and a leg. And I have a lovely 2 hours walk with whippet.

Bit of that

Wasps

2010-02-23T12:12:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Cold wind whipping across my face wakes me up with a shiver. I quicken my pace. By the time whippet and I get home we are both ready for breakfast.

2 small boys have arranged themselves over me. A girl who had chosen to stay out of the circle wanders across and flops down leaning into me and the drama queen has claimed the other side. I have missed them.

The thought of a well being group is making me titter. I shall start using the staff room and suggest group hugs then. "Too late" due to the stress of an imminent inspection "it has been put on hold for now". Titters change to roars.

Bit of that

Greetings from Jupiter

2010-02-22T06:22:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Saturday

Breathtakingly beautiful Malvern Hills cloaked in snow. Beat of the swans wings flying low up river. Tasty lunch in a quaint tea shop bedecked by ornamental bells. Passing the time of day with lakeland terrier and his friend breaks the trek back to the car.

Sunday

It is delicious, and he gets creative instead of stroppy when some of the indigents are not to be found. It seems man about the house has taken over sunday lunch duty as long as he can fling cream and calories in.

Monday

Whippet and I slip into Spring house garden discovering hidden delights of snow drops, crocuses and witch hazel. Someone has thoughtfully placed a sign warning of slippery steps.

I wander under mature trees and suddenly feel peaceful. Bless you Mrs S C for allowing us to share your garden.

Bit of that

She gives me a book that makes me realize I should buy more recycled paper products. To provide a market for all the paper that goes in the green bin. But buying recycled loo paper is not as simple as I thought.

Avoiding the paper trap

Consider these simple actions to help reduce your paper use and make better buying choices.

Buy recycled. Tissue products, such as toilet paper, handkerchiefs, napkins and kitchen towels cannot be recycled after use, which is why it is important to ensure that the tissue products you buy contain a high level of recycled content.

Is this product necessary? Don’t use paper products when you can use cloth. Reserve your paper purchases for essentials only.

It doesn’t need to be white. The whiter it is, the more it has been bleached. To reduce chemical exposures, don’t choose the whitest product.

Ask for recycled. If you local store doesn’t stock recycled toilet tissue, ask them to start stocking it.

Read the label. Make sure the claims make sense to you. What is your toilet tissue made from, waste paper or pulp? What percentage of the total is recycled material and is it from a sustainable source? Does it make any claims for safe bleaching processes, such as ‘chlorine free’? If the label isn’t clear, don’t buy the product.

Support ethical companies. The Ethical Consumer recommends brands such as Naturelle or Co-op’s recycled toilet tissue range. Other good choices include products from the Natural Collection, Traidraft, Ecotopia, Essential and Suma.

This article first appeared in the Ecologist December 2007

Previous Articles...

2010-02-18T12:21:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

The morning brought a gruel away and bloody get on with it day. As per last nights instruction to self.

3 bags of street litter, gleaming car, half hour tidying a snowy garden, disposing of dog dropping by post box latter, prompting a queer look from 2 young lads in a van as they slow down in amazement at me donned in yellow wet weather gear and new winter hat, that I kid myself makes me look like Hiedi but just accentuates the resemblance to whippet and I no longer feel a waste of space.

Bless her heart she never gave up on me. I don't know why I stopped bouncing the ball weeks ago.

Bit of that

Digging a hole

2010-02-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

A yellow rump streaks away into the trees, and shortly afterwards starts to hammer.

Whippet has a bemused look. Black cat is yowling in protest at being stood on. She has tucked herself underneath the cover and only a bump can be seen. He jumps in fright when she retaliates.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum the 2 dames of last nights pantomime were spectacular and I have the photo's to prove it. It is their one chance a year to glam it up. They have been a double act for years now, and are the highlight of the show.

Bit of

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

2010-02-05T12:32:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Frustration in the young often is manifest in the unleashing of enegery. Kicking, punching, a three year old girl executed a perfect head butt when one of the boys nicked her doll, pinching, throwing whatever is to hand even chairs, bitting, one child even tried to push me in the canal, and the bog standard wallop using hand or a harmless object that suddenly becomes a lethal weapon. Our newest recruit blows the most spectacular raspberry, swimming goggles are needed. if you are not to loose deep and meaningful eye contact while explaining why sharing is a good idea. And to retain his dignity you must not smile.

The car door is open and much noise blasts out. The stranger and I lock eyes and decide to investigate together. He too is frustrated and cannot find his disable sticker. "They will do me for parking" he mutters. They certainly won't, because we find it.

He turns out to be an engaging young man whose face transforms and becomes alive when he smiles. United in the fact both of us are clutching a camera, we agree to explore the new sports centre together, after we have both photographed the destruction of bits of the old one. "We shall we have an adventure then", he agrees. And suddenly the day lights up from within. I am enchanted by the long bouncy bridge and so are the teenagers who are coming the other way, it responds beautifully to us all jumping up an down. And there from nowhere I am jumping suddenly for joy.

Bit of that

For no other reason than she sprang to mind. Some one once described her as having a dark light.

CAROLINE BLACKWOOD

(1931-1996)

Commentary
Gabrielle Annan, reviewing Nancy Schoenberger, Dangerous Muse: A Life of Caroline Blackwood (2001), 226pp., in Times Literary Supplement (6 July 2001), p.25, gives details:

Lady Caroline Blackwood; b. 1931, dg. and eldest child of Marquess of Dufferin and Ava and Maureen née Guinness; raised at Clandeboye; terrorised by nanny; m. Lucian Freud, Israel Citkowitz, with whom three dgs. (poss. one by Ivan Moffat), and Robert Lowell ,with whom a son; shared with him her house on Redcliffe Sq., London, and a country house in Kent while he ‘commuted grumpily to Essex University where the students wanted him to analyse the best lyrics of Bob Dylan and the Beatles’ (Annan); ‘what made her mesmeric was not just her beauty, but her wit, funniness, and her tragic, nihilistic insight which went like a dagger into character and motive. Her writing is often hilarious, and always black.’; d. cancer. Remarks that Schoenberger’s ‘own input is not distinguished enough for her subject.; quotes Lorna Sage (Bad Blood): ‘Caroline hired a succession of more-or-less disastrous people ranging from superannuated hippies to drunken professional butler-and-housekeeper double acts to do the cooking, housework, &c.; in London she ate out or picknicked [...] and ocasionally got contract cleaners in.

She lived for the most part in grand squalor [ … but] the conversation was marvellous and went on well into the night.’; quotes Robert Lowell: ‘I’m manic and Caroline’s panic. We’re like two eggs cracking.’ Lowell died in a taxi on his way to Hardwick’s house on leaving Caroline; attachment to Andrew Harvey, Oxford don; speaks of the ‘macabre factoid fairy tale The Last of the Duchess in which she tries but fails ton interview the dying Duchess of Windsor.’

2010-02-01T06:22:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Yards of thin ribbons of ice hanging from the side of the ditch. Stopping before it reaches the bottom.

The smell of fabric conditioner as warm air from the radiator wafts past.

Arrow like whippet stretches. paws forward, nose in line, bum in the air and he yawns, then thumps his back end on the floor.

Bit of that

Do I have the time though? Or more to the point could I meditate my way through the sodding shoulder? Least I would be happy in my misery. (yes I am feeling sorry for myself). Today I am allowed tomorrow I am not.

MATTHIEU RICARD

Matthieu Ricard is a Buddhist monk, author and former scientist, who has lived and studied in the Himalayas for the last forty years. He was once dubbed ‘the happiest man in the world’ following MRI scans on his brain. Although he questions the accuracy of this claim, he puts his contentment down to regular meditation. In The Art of Meditation Matthieu Ricard shares his thoughts and experience.

The Art of Meditation is published by Atlantic Books.

Matthieu Ricard

2010-01-30T11:51:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Glittering and bright, crunchy under foot a fairy tale morning.

Everything suggested gets a negative response. The day can't possibly be crawled through. Gadget man wants a small something for the love of his life, the bike. I am in control of the wheels so after he has shopped, we explore "just up the road".

Retail therapy has worked, he graciously dons walking boots and navigates for me. A deer leaps over the fence in-front of us and arcs across the snow. Luck brings us out by Wroxton church.

Bit of that

2010-01-29T12:28:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

A boy of about ten walks toward me clutching the Argos catalogue. "Big Issue" he sings in a perfect imitation of the lady in town. And cheekily meeting my eye "only 24.99".

With a bit of help I find that the photographs I have been hunting for are kept at the Oxford Library.

A notecard arrives from someone that disappeared from my over life thirty years ago.

Bit of that

2010-01-28T13:09:00.001-08:00

Bit of this

Squeezing in the pew along side an old neighbor. She tells me that her mother lived on the estate once and her initials are to be found carved within the church. Mrs H has a fine send off and I find out that she had been quite an adventurer. She engaged fully and enthusiastically with life, a true inspiration.

Master of ceremonies is doing the rounds, shaking everyone by the hand followed by a "please to meet you". Our eyes lock he can't avoid it. At least he like myself is a man of conviction and no "please to meet you" was uttered. My warped sense of humor has been tickling all afternoon.

Man about the house comes in from a freezing days work on the building. I am flat on the floor. It's a measure of my discomfort that his icy hands on the sodding shoulder don't even make me flinch. He slaps the pads on and turns up the dial so that within minutes I am up with a smile serving tea. Oh him of the healing hands.

Bit of that

Stein, Gertrude (1874-1946)
Just before she died she asked,
"What is the answer?"
No answer came. She laughed and said,
"In that case what is the question?"

2010-01-27T11:11:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

The dogs for the disabled are having a day out in town. The curly coated retriever is such at handsome boy.

The hands over the mouth and wide eyes conceal mirth. The trips back and forth to the loo was not to wash paint from hands but rather reapplying paint to continue the decoration of toilet doors and walls with hand prints. I like it but feel the cleaner will not, a valuable lesson in washing paint work follows, and they agree it would have been hard work for said cleaner and paper will be used in future. We shall see!

The workmen at the church on top of the hill assure me they will be on hand tomorrow should I get accidently locked in. And that their connivence is available for the asking.

Bit of that

A principle of early childhood education that seems to have got smothered in the paper work.

Childhood is seen as valid in itself. It is a stage of life and not simply a preparation for the future.

2010-01-26T11:29:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Long and lean with red hair he hunkers down hanging on to the side of the conveyor belt gazing at his lone bottle of White Lightening. "There's always something to be cheerful about" he grins at me.

From the shadow of the hill a dark mass of birds moves towards us, sidestepping into a fleeting elegant dance before disappearing. Several loud bangs explain the reason for their flight.

The walls of the house are turning pink, when I look out of the bedroom window there is a fantastic fiery sky.

Bit of that

Story-time for dogs.

2010-01-24T09:55:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Tight yellow buds of winter aconites and graceful heads of snow drops bursting into life under Ronnie's tree.

A gang of long tailed tits dart along following the saunter of the the river. Am heartened to think that they all survived the deep freeze of recent weeks.

The postie touches base with Mrs T even though she has no post today.

Bit of that

I love Martha Madigan's creativity.

2010-01-22T12:26:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Two minutes latter and there would have been no more parking spaces left.

3 young people sit with a lady in her 50's. They are making such a fuss of her going out of their way to entertain. "My aunty brought me a coloring book for christmas. I did one and me mum put it on the fridge. I put by Gary age 22".

She shows me neat piles of baby clothes laid out on the floor. Whites and creams no hint of blue or pink.. It will really be a surprise then.

Bit of that

Boum Boum

2010-01-21T11:55:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

A large dinosaur is pacing up and down outside the Early Learning Center guarding the door.

Oh dear all the towels in the wash at work have turned a lovely pale blue.

The Perfect Present at Croperdy is in a state of excitement. They are learning to be post mistresses. I swear because had I known I would have avoided the wait at the main office in town. I make way for the lady behind who seems on a mission. Well how interesting. She is posting research on the history of eighteenth century garden plants to the National Trust. She is anxious that it does not go astray. I add that the shop is making it's own history, and am told someone who is researching the history of post offices is due to arrive for a chat, and is blowing in from Reading. This all sort of ties in with my latest library find today, The Error World by Simon Garfield about an affair with stamps.

Bit of that

The British Postal Museum and Archive

2010-01-20T06:57:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

I get into work and find our tactful comments about rearranging the space have been acted upon. No more children fighting over the box boat at circle time. Now it's, how many can hide under the table. At least there they think we can't see so keep quiet. Bless. You have got to marvel at their resourcefulness.

Now I have finally conquered the video, I record all sorts of wonderful things that delight while I eat lunch.

Sat having a heart to heart at the doc's and she gets a message via computer asking would she would like a drink? Slug of gin for me please I think.

Bit of that

432. Tunnel Vision
Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil, as well as the rollercoaster market conditions and the continued decline of the U.S. economy, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. At least it is no longer a train headed our way. (04-01-09)

2010-01-19T06:37:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

She lands lightly, flops down and with small movements melds us into one. Purring at last her chin comes to rest on my leg. I feel all the tension flow first from her body and then from my own. What a lovely way to start the day.

A large brown envelop waits on the matt. There is a sick and dividend society rule book that cost threepence with no date on. A report on the funds raised in 1901 to restore the church. 2 photographs, one from 1901 and another 1903 showing the difference the revamp has made. 2 ancient cookery books, various scraps of paper, an old letter dated 1955. From someone in Scotland lamenting the fact that Emily wasn't at home when they called. The last item, a photograph, takes my breath away. She is beautiful. Is it Emily?

She rings me up to make sure I have not forgotten the Library van. When I get there I find out from veteran mobile man of 33 years standing, that they stopped visiting the estate, last year because someone told them not to bother now that all the workers were Polish. I think they could have added a few Polish books. He just shrugged.

Bit of that

Emily?

2010-01-18T06:01:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Freeda's wheels (pink bike) are good to go and she gets wheeled out of hibernation. The sun is shinning and we are off. 10 yards from the house the thighs start to moan.

Intending to turn around at the bridge I come across a horse box unloading 2 horses and their riders. Curiosity spurs me on. I stop by the stables to watch a horse charge around his confined space in a temper yelling. Why I wonder doesn't he jump the fence? He surely could. Then I spot 2 specks at the bottom of a drag of a hill and realize the horses have been shipped in to exercise on the gallops.

Acts of kindness have a ripple effect. Because J knocked on my door weeks after Andrews death and offered me the loan of a bike. Freeda entered my life. Cheaper and better than any therapist, she has been used in my darkest hours. Man about the house was encouraged into limited exercise. She is a bonus on our camper-van excursions. And in a round about way whippet would never have become part of the family if I hadn't been bawling my eyes out on her. And all because of a knock at the door. Bless you J.

Bit of this

Birth of the bicycle.

2010-01-17T05:27:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Much excited tweeting by birds. Black cat is not out there with a mouth full of feathers. Rather a sparrow hawk looking for breakfast.

It's been along time since I walked around the old air field. I am surprised that I see others. Whippet is alarmed to see 2 large labradors bounce his way. I am alarmed that he throws punches at their advances. He is lucky one does not throw one of their own.

I am lucky that the hoover that bounced down the stairs did not knock me out.

Bit of that

2010-01-16T10:24:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Last time whippet encountered flood water he whined pitifully, I turned to find him stood stock still up to his elbows and refusing to move. A rescue was necessary to ferry him to dry land. Today all though he does not looked pleased, he bravely follows.

The water bars us from crossing over the bridge by the mill. It would have been a bugger if I had walked the other way around.

I am just thinking about the boy. When he walks in the door clutching his play-station. He is quite friendly while he plugs it in. How I miss the lad that is there somewhere.

Bit of that

Dancing fingers

2010-01-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Why is whippet playing musical teeth? Tooth ache maybe.

If the tree can be seen through the mist I will come back. So after donning florescent weather gear, changing the batteries in the camera, I go out to play.

The field gate is padlocked. So hopping over a fence is required. After a mild hesitation I conclude once out in the filed the farmer won't be able to see me even with me yellow on. The fingers freeze, but she looks quite beautiful hanging in the mist. An hour passes in a flash. And I avoid getting run over on the main road when walking back to the car.

Bit of that

2010-01-14T00:24:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

He de frosts the car of ice for me.

I swear that blackbird has resorted to emotional blackmail. He has turned up on the kitchen window sill to eyeball me washing up. Now he has just landed on the bedroom window sill. Of course I rush out with more supplies. And true enough the table is bare.

I love mixing tastes and have left over curry which I bung a tin of fruit cocktail in and serve cold (on account of me mother once being very ill after consuming reheated rice). Sounds vile, tastes great. And cooled my over zealous sprinkling of various herbs a treat.

Bit of that

When I heard this on the news it made me laugh.

2010-01-13T11:20:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Mixed feeling joy and embarrassment. Not another day off because of the weather. We are the 1st school in Oxfordshire to make a decision.

The mirror reflects lips that match the scarf and throw. Brr, I know that I will appreciate the click of the central heating when whippet and I return from our ramble.

He plods up the track though the snow. There is the outline of shoes with long square toes in his bag. I throw out a comment as is my want. (Well it's rude to ignore someone when you pass with a foot and your the only 2 people about). He answers me with a smile, and mutters something that I take to be in Polish. Thats 2 spotted this week.

Bit of that

Turn off the T.V. Don't read the newspapers. Its full of what went wrong yesterday.

Betty Willaim 1976

Now of course we get it news the millisecond it's happened.

2010-01-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

We lay on our tummies chattering, what are your numbers" he asks. When I tell him he says "in 11 months time I will be 5".

As I wave them off in ones and twos, I suddenly realized I how much that I have missed them.

Farmer Rex stops for a chat, there is a bitting wind. He comments "my hands never get cold" good job. The cows spot his land-rover and start to call him.

Bit of that

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. W.B. Yeats

2010-01-11T04:17:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Her face changes completely to assume the air of a disdainful queen. "Well I waved a couple of times, and she cut me, so I ignore her now". Even her nose is stuck in the air.

Last nights work in progress stands tall. The family finished him by street light. He is propped up against the manor wall, has a fetching hat, a surprised expression, brought on no doubt by a hobby horse stuck between his legs.

"Come and look as next doors", she whispers, we tip toe past the window and there at the top of the garden is a beautiful sculptured woman and ideal play mate for snow man. Both are true works of art.

Bit of that

Spoilsport of the year:

Beth Warburton, an American publisher, who stopped her authors claiming expenses for private planes, colour consultants, wives, girlfriends, limos and cocaine ("even if you do get sleepy on book tour").

Literary Life 2009

2010-01-10T11:02:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

I come across a lad of about 20 walking up the hill towards me. He looks like the boy with his penetrating eyes starring out from underneath his hoodie. When I smile and speak he says "I don't speak English" and shrugs.

Keeper of lord of the manors racehorses tells me latter there are several Polish people working the estate. This comes as a welcome surprise.

Theo and whippet cross paths and we all continue our walk together. As a result I am out for hours, and have lots of interesting thoughts dancing around due to our chit chat. As I step into the house I sense sulking from upstairs. Backed up by cupboard doors open, half the pantry all over the table and worse abandoned culinary delights. "What couldn't you find" I ask. Humor is needed to get him from his corpse like pose on the bed and back into action. It was worth when I sat down to lunch though. Oh how we all suffer for his art this was the second sulk of the week.

Bit of this

Theo

2010-01-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

We are in and out of the super market and back home in time to listen to Saturday Live. I had man about the house racing round so fast his eyes didn't have time to register the luxuries he usually slings in the trolly with gay abandon, the more relaxed ambling allows.

The lady on the food program promises tasty bread. Spelt flour was brought accordingly. And the ease with which it was knocked it up and in the oven in 3 minutes was all she promised. Oh but the disappointment. On the plus side it is a sustaining snack for the starlings, and the worry about an efficient lift of once their tummies were full was unfounded. However not one to be daunted I have found another recipe to try.

The land-rover slides to a stop and 2 faces from my childhood peered out. She had nurtured my love of horses, and he looks as young as ever still with his boyish laugh. It's thanks to her I have developed a voice that stops dogs with evil intent attacking whippet. And thanks to him we had a roof over our heads.

Bit of that

Spelt Bread

2010-01-08T03:42:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Whippet displays his displeasure with his keep me warm coat by slewing his rear end and banging into the legs. Reminding me of tactics deployed by the banger racers.

Muck Wellington Boots are the may cost an arm and a leg, but at least my toes are warm.

The lurcher spends hours and hours laid on the windowsill of what used to be the local shop for years. Just waiting for his people. I suddenly have a yen to have a peek inside now it has had a make over. The biggest delight as a child was Mr Tivvy, the shop keeper, and his biscuit tin full of local post cards. (His limp was a source of fascination). He had a very glamourous assistant with long hair. She still lives in the village, and is still glamorous at 70.

Bit of that

Party political broadcast - Monty Python

2010-01-07T05:37:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

The garden has become a magnet to blackbirds. They strut their stuff even the ladies pick fights. The pecking order is fascinating to watch. At the last count there were 9. They discover a common enemy, driving off the thrush that landed on their patch.

Cheered later on by the discovery of a thrush making the best of red berries shed by the large evergreen tree over hanging the manor wall.

A delicious aniseed smell escapes the box as the lid is prized off. Now what on earth did I buy aniseed seeds for.

Bit of that

Action is only taken when body language is ignored

2010-01-06T06:12:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

There is a note on the table, No school.

The kitchen smells of hot chocolate. It travels a surprisingly long way when dropped.

Mrs T is looking anxiously out of the window at the snow. "Oh dear, can you just clear the gate way and leave it open". She is worried should the emergency services be needed they wouldn't be able to open the gate.

Bit of that

You buggers may be ok in there, but spare a crumb Mrs.

2010-01-05T12:10:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

They have all forgotten how to tidy up over the holiday. As fast as some are putting toys away others are pulling them out. One starts to perfect his target practice throwing the plastic food. Of which there is vast quantities. (possibly he will play cricket for England one day). As no one is in his line of fire, I point out what he throws he will have to put back. As we all sit down to story time he stands giving us his sad look. I did not waver but 2 little girls rushed to his rescue. Oh god "we all help each other" I spout ever-so often as their war cry is "I'm not doing that, I didn't play with it". I pointed out the error of their ways, but they would not be stopped. He is 3. (Tomorrow we will have target practice with ball and a bottle outside). Mean while the stand in teacher pushes instead of leads the drama queen who hurls herself to the floor and sobs so loudly the whole group have to move away to hear Goldilocks. She too learnt a lesson, gently gently. This one has a marvelous stubborn streak that will serve her well as an adult, as she tries, and tries until she cracks something. After 5 minutes, I lay on the floor beside her and say she can either carry on and get sore eyes and throat or she can join the others. When no one is looking she sneaks over and sits down. I had an arhh moment. I know perfectly well if I give her a thumbs up and smile off she will go again. I think being an international negotiator would be easier and definitely pay better.

Whippet and I are half way around a field when a big new tractor arrives and proceeds to spray. We just manage to get out of his line of fire by legging it. quite a relief that.

It's dark and it's snowing. Magical.

Bit of that

Joyce Grenfell Nursery School

2010-01-04T12:27:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Mrs T puts on her red hat. It's just like my grandmothers was only red. Granny kept her hats, in my memory they are all shades of green, placed carefully in a fruit bowl next to the donkey sanctuary charity box that she supported every year.

The good news was I managed to video some of the Edith Piaf film, the bad news is I didn't get all of it.

Whippet saunters out in-front of a police car, I was so busy catching up on Christmas doings that I forgot there was a gap in the hedge. He pulls up and opens the window. I babble with fright, picturing a flatten whippet, that he does not give me the flea in the ear I deserve.

Bit of that

Looks like I can buy it then.

or rent it from the library.

2010-01-03T11:51:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Another dazzlingly bright, bitter cold day. I have wacked the ice, from a baking tray morphed into a bird bath, countless times. Very satisfying using as much force as I can, and then to hear the splat followed by glistening shattered ice dancing across the path. Corse the best bit is to see the birds dipping their beaks in minutes after.

My mop bucket leaks. Hands and knees are required. I had forgotten how much I used to love scrubbing floors. I remember how I would come down in the early hours and expend much pent up emotion of one sort or another and have the bonus of a clean floor.

That reminds me of seeing my mother on bended knee washing a scrap a cardinal red floor. The preferred way of covering concrete floors for the impoverished. I loved those bits of floor. I wonder if it is still there under someone's fitted carpet or wooden flooring.

Bit of this

There is a hole in my bucket

I also remember me mother teaching it to me. This would have to be one of my inheritance tracks.

2010-01-02T10:50:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Water seeping through red bricks, forming icicles that hang from the arch of Marston Doles canal bridge. What a lovely name Marston Doles.

He brings me a bowl of christmas pud and the jug of cream, upstairs, to temp me away from trying hard but getting nowhere.

Christmas has been boxed, and put away for now. Within the actions, are shards of memories from past and present.

Flashes of red punched through the blues. Small crimson baubles, given by Y, galvanized me from lethargy, into action on christmas eve. They decorated twigs, adorned with ivy, 3 glowing red glass triangular kings, and fairy lights. As their brilliance of color sparkles, I begin to notice dashes of red every where. On cards, dotting 2 miniature ornaments, inherited from beloved nanny. A bright red vase filled with matching silk flowers, brought long ago on a whim, to celebrate Christmastime. Garish maybe but a jolt of joy when I glimpse them warming their dark corner. A tiny red bow on the boys card. I catch all that redness, and with it I see the merest whispers echoed within the snaps of the children. I receive unexpected surges of happiness here and there. (Ironic considering red was the color that has caused me many a panic attack, with the taking, giving, poisoning a body to get it to behave, and that heart stopping moment before a result. For all his tenaciousness and punching above his weight it wouldn't be tamed). Bit like me really, push this Champaign cork down and eventually I will bounce back up with a fizz.

Bless you Y for the small box that held within more than tiny crimson baubles. I start the new year, actually looking forward.

Bit of that

One of our national treasures.

Chris Watson's water song

2010-01-01T12:44:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Man about the house is ratty because we have to pay six quid to park, And I dissolve into laughter because we can't find the beginning of the walk. And then I realize we are looking at the wrong river. This is just as well as the ham is flooded.

He walks towards us on the raised bank, a small rotund person, the angle of the sun casting a shadow across a leg with every other step. Not another person to be seen. We pass the time of day and exchange "happy new year" greetings. I notice his dazzling shinny stout brown shoes.

We sit on the same fence, by the M50 motor way bridge as yesterday, when we walked from Upton Upon Severn. Eating the same delicious ginger bread. Slurping hot coffee. Now we have walked from Upton all the way to Gloucester in bite size bits.

Bit of this

Wonders will never cease

Other wonders

Mult Lichnosti also features other world leaders. One episode of the cartoon shows Ukraine's President Viktor Yushchenko inflating balloons with natural gas diverted from a Russian pipeline.

Georgia's President Mikhail Saakashvili is seen eating his own tie.

And US President Barack Obama is depicted endlessly bouncing a basketball up and down.

2009-12-23T06:32:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

I thought it surely had frozen to death and dropped off it's perch, the goldfinch was hanging upside down, a clever ploy to remove family member from the breakfast bar. They proceeded to have a dust up.

It is so cold that whippet's teeth quietly chatter, like a road hammer, roaring in the distance.

When the snow finally starts to melt, patches of glistening ice remain covering the field like small pieces of a of a puzzle waiting to be joined together.

Bit of that

Lemming

Creature whose behavior is yet to be explained by exam stress, credit card debt, or mortgage worries.

2009-12-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

The bow window, of the spanking new sports centre, displays a stack of keep fit machines that are tied. One solitary man pedals furiously while the work men survey their handy work. He looks out over the round a bout and we look up at him. This will provide good early morning entertainment for us who are idling in a jam.

The girlfriend is like a breath of fresh air.

They were having such fun scrunching biscuits under their heel, until all that was left was fine dust. It seemed a shame to stop the experiment. But manners dictate. They were crest fallen. Still can now tick off another bloody box. "noticed change".

Bit of that

Creative plumber at work

Idle cartoon 9 - search ID ptr0071

2009-12-10T12:58:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Left my favorite coat in Costa's, but it was still there when I remembered it hours later. And I saw blossom on a tree on my way back to the car.

Got flagged down by 3 immigrants, slung them a fiver went back with more supplies but they had gone or been arrested. (more likely they were probably fly boys and saw me as a sucker). So I am a several mars bars better off plus a few quid.

Over did the false teeth tablets in the filthy flask and the lid shot off missing me by a whisker, spraying boiling water all over the ceiling. Twas a tremendous bang.

Man about the house is roaring because I just found out the boiler's bust so no heating and no hot water. But at least I have the number of a man that can and just enough tepid water for an inch in the bath.

Bit of that

The force was with me

2009-12-09T08:43:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

I see a bee in the garden, are bees about this late on in the year, I wonder.

The hedge row seems alive with birds and chirrups. The noise floats past the earphones, I take them off and just listen. Rushing water, a donkey hollering, the call from a child. I have been so absorbed by the stories on the ipod lately, I had forgotten the pleasure of what just is.

2 silver ribbons appear nearly vertical, climbing up the hill. Rain has highlighted either side of the farm track leading to the house on the hill, that glows red on summer sunset evenings.

Bit of that

Every Autumn as the first frosts begin the mated young queens seek out a place to hibernate in safety. If you come across a live but sleepy bee in a pile of leaves in Winter don't damage it. Its not dying, just in a deep cold sleep like a hedgehog. Put it back where you found it and cover it gently against the cold.

Come the first sharp drop in temperature and frosts the old queen, her workers and the independent drones will die. Only the newly mated queens will survive in hibernation to begin the cycle again the following Spring.

2009-12-08T08:19:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Out side whippet and I peer closely at the tin can clanking in the dark. Once the eyes adjust it becomes evident that it's black cat with her head stuck fast in a whiskas tin.

Man about the house rushes to the rescue, the tin is yanked off and wild eyes glare, followed by her belting up the garden in what I take for a temper. Much latter I catch up with the hero of the hour and he reveals that he had found black cat curled up in doors. The unfortunate look alike we conclude was one of farmer Rex's hungry souls, whom possibly is related to black cat somewhere along the line.

Those biscuits had an interesting taste and texture she comments. Well what do you expect from 3 year olds. Possibly if she had witnessed the process she would have refused one. I am sure cooking with 3 year olds contravenes health and safety. Even when vigilant children sneeze, cough and stick fingers in to taste. To say nothing of the ones with runny noses.

Bit of that

Thought I would get into the christmas spirit.

(in memory of black cat's sister bubbles)

Bubbles also suffered from mistaken identity, and got solemnly taken to the vet for burial and cried over by another family after they had scooped her up from the road. It wasn't until latter that night when their cat strolled in, that they realized the mistake. The son of the house who was 4 at the time whooped with joy believing that it was possible to come back from the dead. (As I had only just lost Andrew, I replied with a heart felt "I wish", but you had the see the funny side). Days latter we found out what had happened to her, but by then another of Rex's waifs was nicely ensconced after being carried home from the farm in a carrier bag, blind with cat flue, and to my declaration that she would return to the farm after a visit to the vet. She never did of course and lived a very happy life with us, until the lady next door reversed over her. She never could meow I reckon she had used all her voice calling for help from the middle of the yard. Luckily man about the house was near at hand donning yet another superman suit.

2009-12-07T08:25:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

"You know who is flavor of the month with our nan, because their photo is on top of the telly"" she groans, "this week it's the dog". Whoops.

Mrs T has 4 Christmas cards hung up already. My mother says she is giving a donation to charity instead of sending cards this year. What a good idea.

The hens are eating early morning scraps that a friendly neighbor has thrown out for them. One black crow tries to join the feast but gets clucked away.

Bit of that

Clucking cartoon 5 - search ID aton1240

License this image [?]

Buy on a gift [?]

View other cartoons by Toos, Andrew.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Copyright in this image is owned by the original artist, rights to reproduce or use the image may be obtained from www.CartoonStock.com.

More "clucking" ca

2009-12-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

As I power walk up the hill, well more of a pant and gasp really , a line of bright red poppies wave me upwards and onwards.

Flipping over on my side as per instructions, I am confronted by the goldilocks family of bears gonad protectors.

"I thought you had red wellies" I say helping tiny feet into boots , "nooooo and these aren't Roberts", he grins back. Oh how he wishes and wishes for Bob the builder jobs.

Bit of that

Are you a human doing

Or a human being?

2009-11-24T10:18:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

Multicolored sweeties bounce out over the floor . The young shop assistances gather round kicking them into a heap. The young man wot dun it refuses to meet anyones eyes.

She stands starring at her plastic bag kite seemingly transfixed by the power of the wind.

Her man about the house refuses to go to the osteopath until he has new under pants.

Bit of that

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer.

2009-11-16T11:57:00.000-08:00

Bit of this

The silver birch spends her life dancing, todays wind ebbs and flows in and around, she rejoices in the moment, giving expression with dainty elegance.

Bless his heart, he takes charge of the chaos that evidences the baking activity. "now we wash up", he instructs and marches off with bowls he has neatly stacked.

Black cat has arranges herself in the only patch of sunlight to be bathed in, and
looks ready to drip from one step to another.

Bit of that

It's Dark in Here by Shel Silverstein

I am writing these poems
From inside a lion,
And it's rather dark in here.
So please excuse the handwriting
Which may not be too clear.
But this afternoon by the lion's cage
I'm afraid I got too near.
And I'm writing these lines
From inside a lion,
And it's rather dark in here.

2009-10-27T12:38:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Letting a fly out and inhaling the autumn smell of a bonfire, then leaving the window open to fill the house with the smell and memories.

Drifting off to another place while 2 friends moan about same bonfire. ('spect when I hit menopause proper, I too will be a grumpy old woman, Oh gawd).

He opens the bag. "last time you dealt with one of those, you and the cat fought over it, much swearing ensued from both parties, I seem to remember". He hangs it up complete with webbed feet and bill still in its bag, while we consider what to do. Later we find that black cat has made a decision and started plucking it for us. And there was us thinking it was out of reach.

Bit oft that

Some decisions are harder than others

October 25th 2009

1 of 28 cartoons

2009-10-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

A large red poppy is pinned proudly onto the articulated lorries bumper. Big lorry big poppy.

2 double deckers and 4 single jobs wait in a line to be filled with noise and laughter, knocks on the window make me turn around, and there are 2 of Andrew's contemporaries smiling and waving. Bless you lads.

There seems to be a gang of teenagers at the bottom of the track, 3 cars and a huddle of activity. A large broom appears between the leaves. I'm just thinking there must be better places to have an end of term party, when "hairy mike" springs to mind and whippet and I look on in astonishment at the bizarre scene involving war wounds, created, from the back of the makeup ladies car, and persons with swords in fancy costumes. Restoration comedy involving zombies apparently. The mind boggles.

Bit of that

I am a bit of a sucker for Mr Charles

2009-10-20T11:20:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Whippet is horrified by the white covers on sofa and bed at the cottage. I am alarmed and throw a blanket over the sofa and make sure there is a kitchen chair across it at night. He looks dolefully accusing as we refuse him his early morning cuddle and flops down beside the bed sighing. And I use our towels I can't possibly use a white one to dry him off and me too, white should remained un sullied. ( must come from my catholic upbringing, when they talked about purity of the soul, I knew going to confession wouldn't erase all the black blotches that had been incurred).

The gentle roar rolls down the estuary similar to that of the dull hum of a motor-way. I know it's arrival is imminent as a flock of birds swim up river and settle opposite us. Seconds later it continues is steady pace past driving them further on. It fills the main channel then over flows and sloshes up the banks making a lovely sound. The water resembles a rolling boil as it dances in the light before settling. There I have seen it, the severn bore. Now I want to see a really big one.

I take myself to the top of the hill with the cows and watch the sun set and lights in the distance appear. It is so peaceful. This must be off a flight path for I hear no airplanes. Only the call of geese. I am fascinated by the shape of a tree and see the scene as a painting so de focus over expose and snap. Course what it will print like remains to be seen.

Bit of that

I was looking for a poem about a cat, I fail to see the connection, they get ever-so energetic toward the end, tis amazing.

2009-10-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

3 sleek jets hug the terrain and disappear over the hill their sound rumbling behind like an after thought. Dangerous and deadly thinks I.

He is about 10, and has lined up dinky cars in his yard, oblivious to the drizzle and still in his school uniform. It's is ages since I have seen an older primary school child down in the dirt playing cars. I send a silent plea to who ever is listening. Oh please let me be given the gift of playing granny.

She reads my mind and rings. I fail to spot her in amongst hustle and bustle of the fair. I have a marvelous time and a marvelous headache. But only "sort of 6" reasonable photos.

I collect and relish encounters, the latest was an elderly gent in the Library, who had a passion for old showman engines. And actually made models of them in his shed. He regaled me with stories from the past. In particular about a fair that fetched up in Oxford the day the second world war broke out. It didn't set up camp and trundled off somewhere else.

I call around to see the boy and am delighted to find that the other mummy and daddy there, whom I have never met and whom I like instantly. But I was heartened to spot a book, and find out that he reads. So it was worth the effort and trauma of teaching him to read after all. The self restraint needed when he stuck his fingers in his ears, whenever I picked up bloody Billy Blue hat his reading book, and be encouraging was toxic to my mental health.

She is alight with joy and enthusiasm as they line buckets up to catch the over flow pouring from the gutter. She stands under letting it drip on her head. Latter I find out that her mother probably won't be amused. But I am not repentant as I send her home in school clothes as hers are drenched. How could I not don my water proofs and let those who wanted it experience the rain. Her face sparkles in my memory.

Bit of that

Show mans engines

and

Landscape of childhood

2009-10-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

The cutest of faces peep out from the top her coat. A miniature yorkshire terrier. It was on it's way to a dog shelter after it's had owner died and she had rescued it. Taking under her wing. I am reminded of my grandmother who was the devoted owner of 3 , at different times, all called Trixie.

Today I am missing the boy, and hey ho he calls in for a milli second.

2 squirrels cavort and chase each other around the school sport field.

Bit of that

2009-10-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

I glimpsed them zoom away, 3 of them. Mork and Mindy had been darting with increased speed and urgency feeding their youngsters. They have finally fledged and will soon be on their way to Africa.

Brown leather walking boots, smell of dubbin and crisscross laces looped around small metal eyelets. Money well spent fourteen years ago then.

The fireman has written a how to do book on Flamenco dancing. He cuts quite a dash as he shows his talents off. People chat and drink, no one looks at the book much it seems, except me who is out of her depth and finds it preferable to hiding in the loo. But one drink and I perk up no end finding lots of people to chat to. Suddenly feeling glad that I excepted the invitation to "a book launch". If I hadn't answered the phone earlier I would have missed the opportunity.

Bless you J for thinking of me.

Bit of that

2009-10-01T08:35:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

It backfired on me. They used the green paint on hands and arms saying proudly "look" and running toward me. They have aprons I have not.

Note to self. Make sure all the resources are in place before embarking on an outdoor art activity.

Twas worth it though they had such fun.

She brought flowers and her enthusiasm. We walked and talked only shutting up to watch the sun slip below the horizon.

Bit of that

Interplanetary art

2009-09-28T06:11:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Still as fleet of foot as ever, he shows me a video of himself doing salsa, he closes the door not to annoy his long suffering wife who "has seen it countless times before". Next the art comes out, and then photo's of himself canoeing. He has only invited me around to show off, I don't care I am impressed and heartened to think himself at 81 is still up and at 'em.

The chelsea tractors back window invites fingers doodling it is so mucky.

Hearts are racing, whippets in excitement of an imminent catch, rabbits as he squeals in fright, and mine as I pound after the bugger to change his trajectory. Mission accomplished, rabbit lives to tell the tale.

Bit of this

The latest in sending information

2009-09-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Brown, questioning eyes, look up from the river below, while he waits patiently for his owner to throw the stick again. No look of reproach or disappointment clouds them just excited expectation. He has waited rather a long time while she gossips too.

Lenny Henry, says to get into character you start with the shoes. Now there's a thought, who shall I be tomorrow?

White fragrant flowers bow their heads on long stalks, an unexpected delight. I only wish I knew what the heck the bulbs were called.

Bit of that

Look what I found

2009-09-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

Addiction to Worthers Originals keep me panting up the hill, after the yellow ruck sack. I feel like the proverbial donkey after the carrot. Oh the disappointment he has ones with soft centers. YUK. A consolation prize is required in the form of coffee and dunked mars bar. YUM.

Mistletoe hangs like large Christmas baubles prettying up a solitary tree.

Someone has painted every brick on the front of the house cardinal red. Instantly bringing memories of a small piece of floor, mother on her hands and knees applying red polish. Strange no one else ever has a splash of red on their floor.

Bit of that

Enjoy the music if nothing else.

2009-09-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

The boys girl friend is a breath of fresh air with her chatter and sparkle. "he won't eat vegetables, tell him" she tuts.

We all enjoy pub grub and I enjoy the company.

Whippet hangs his head in humiliation as a strange man lifts him over the fence. I have no sympathy he had just refused to scrabble through a hole in the fence that his much larger friend negotiated.

Bit of that

Be prepared

By Alastair Jamieson

Published: 9:31AM BST 25 Sep 2009

There are around 600 species of spider in Britain Photo: GETTY

Experts say the mild summer, which was warmer than recent years, is likely to have boosted the number of spiders, which traditionally head indoors at this time of year.

flooding and sharing

2009-09-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

Bit of this

If I were three years old, I would put the plug in the sink, leave the tap on, just to see what would happen too.

The gatehouse girls are having an at home, 3 of their feathered friends have breezed in through the open door, and are helping themselves to tasty tit bits that are on offer.

I am off the footpath when the lord of the manor trots by in his carriage. Am amazed that I don't get thrown off. So I push my luck and explore further.

Bit of this

Apply here if you feel the need.

PS ours is a proper job.

New Search

New Search

this and that

Optical Illusions

If you stare at the following picture long enough,you should see a giraffe...

Previous Articles...

CAROLINE BLACKWOOD

(1931-1996)

MATTHIEU RICARD

Idle cartoon 9 - search ID ptr0071

Clucking cartoon 5 - search ID aton1240

More "clucking" ca

October 25th 2009

flooding and sharing

If you stare at the following picture long enough,
you should see a giraffe...