Thursday, 27 August 2009

Action taken unpredictable results

Bit of this
I am early so I trace the footsteps of my teenage self. My walk takes me through the park. Where a toddler in a red T-shirt is exploring, holding on to his mother fingers, slaps me in the face with a memory of Andrew walking around the living room, agitated and high stepping with uncoordinated and unfocussed movements. Gripping on to my fingers just before he crashed for the last time. His words from a few weeks before echo over and over "It's not fun any more mum". This memory had been polished to a smooth dark brightness that shines out at unexpected moments.

He pulls and pushes my body into more shapes and worries that his son hasn't phoned with his exam results. An A in maths is a must for dad. I say if he has failed he will be in shock. "Not as much shock as I will be in" he replies. His antics part me from my cash but not the pain. He has my knees bent and chin brought up to nearly touch them. I get an attack of giggles as for a minute I think he is going to pick up like a child.

I take cheer me up action. Calling in with a hug of thanks. Her advice has had a liberating effect. Then it is off for lunch. Slurping my frothy cappuccino and reading provides me with a surreal experience as one eye absorbs the words the other registers colorful movement as people below drift past.
I am right opposite the museum so in I go and come out energized with an idea for a scrap book.
Mr Tesco arrives at the house shortly after me clutching a bonnio for a woofing whippet which he hesitantly drops on the mat, whippet only barks louder the bugger. I am grateful for his kindness even if whippet isn't.
Bit of that
Who let the dogs out. Well it makes me smile anyway.


  1. Memories can really torment you. And bad ones always shine clearer for some reason.